Joe visits another podcast
Hey tWoTcast fans! In this time of the tWoTcastless holiday season, if you're truly desperate to hear one of us talk, listen to Joe guest hosting on another podcast. Be forewarned the Wheel of Time is NOT discussed. Below is the show notes and link to Impetious WIndmills episode 51. Just copy the link into your browser or visit iTunes and search Impetuous Windmills.
http://www.impetuouswindmills.com/2011/12/16/1508/
IMPETUOUS WINDMILLS PODCAST
EPISODE 51 “A POET ONCE SAID...”

Music for this Episode

Opening: “Battlecry” by Joell Ortiz
Times Tribune: “Latitude Remix” by Nujabes
Main Topic: “Misfits” by Travis Barker and Steve Aoki
Droppin’ Eaves: “Imaginary Folklore” by Nujabes
Ending: “Latitude” by Five Deez

Special Guest: Joseph Daniel O’Hara

IW Times Tribune

Herman Cain Bows Out of the Presidential Race by Quoting Pokemon
http://kotaku.com/5864783/herman-cain-quotes-pokemon-as-he-suspends-his-campaign

“The Last Guardian” Director Leaves Sony, will complete project on a “Freelance” basis
http://www.joystiq.com/2011/12/13/sony-confirms-uedas-departure-the-last-guardian-to-be-complete/

Sour Patch Candy and Method Man combine to bring you “World Gone Sour”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw7uhVtpI5I

Main Topic

Joseph and Deprava discuss Art, and comics, and drawing, and inspirations, and stuff, for like thirty minutes.

It’s pretty rambling.

Droppin’ Eaves

Deprava:
Playing: League of Legends, Dark Souls, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
Reading: Worker’s Compensation Law
Watching: Conan the Barbarian (2011), American Werewolf in London, Princess Tutu,
Romeo x Juliet

Sagramore:
Playing: League of Legends, Dark Souls, Knights of the Zodiac
Reading: The Wise Man’s Fear
Watching: Cowboys and Aliens, The Housemaid, .hack/SIGN, Warrior

Joseph:
Playing: Nothing
Reading: Wheel of Time, Dr. No
Watching: The Muppets (2011)
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 7:19pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 44

tWoTcast episode 44 (part 6 of 7)

Our sixth discussion of book eight of the Wheel of Time, the Path of Daggers. Covering chapters 23-26. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. We spend and extraordinary amount of time on two chapters talking about Rand but its good stuff, Tom thinks weaves from saidin are getting a little sexual in answer to one of our tweets, and finally this will be our last episode for the next two weeks and we’ll see you again after the new year!

Direct download: 1-44_tWoTcast_episode_44.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 9:12pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 43

tWoTcast episode 43 (part 5 of 7)

Our fifth discussion of book eight of the Wheel of Time, the Path of Daggers. Covering chapters 17-22. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Joe thinks snorting could be a second language, We all discuss what might have happened with the Hot Red Rod, and finally someone makes a bunch of racket outside the studio and it accidently gets on the podcast.

Direct download: 1-43_tWoTcast_episode_43.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 12:46am EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 42

tWoTcast episode 42 (part 4 of 7)

Our fourth discussion of book eight of the Wheel of Time, the Path of Daggers. Covering chapters 12-16. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. We all agree that Dashiva should have remained a random good guy Ashaman. He's too hilarious to lose.

Direct download: 1-42_tWoTcast_episode_42.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 12:15am EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 41

tWoTcast episode 41 (part 3 of 7)

Our first discussion of book eight of the Wheel of Time, the Path of Daggers. Covering chapters 8-11. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Jono wonders what the black tower equivalent of a pillow friend is, Tom thinks Perrin would be more affective with a power wrought frying pan, and finally Joe revels in Galina’s pain during torture.

Direct download: 1-41_tWoTcast_episode_41.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 2:01pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 40

tWoTcast episode 40 (part 2 of 7)

Our second discussion of book eight of the Wheel of Time, The Path of Daggers. Covering chapters 3-7. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Joe thinks Lan could have single-handedly turned back the Seanchan invasion, Tom dubs Alise "mistress of everything", and Jono likens Basil Gill to a sausage casing.

Direct download: 1-40_tWoTcast_episode_40_1.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 11:08am EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 39

tWoTcast episode 39 (part 1 of 7)

Our first discussion of book eight of the Wheel of Time, The Path of Daggers. Covering chapters 1-2 and the prologue. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom.  We debate a little about who can the game of Shara, Joe thinks Rand should just let the Seanchan win, and finally Tom has an interesting theory about what the gholam is doing up on a towertop.

Direct download: 1-39_tWoTcast_episode_39_1.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 9:00pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 38

tWoTcast episode 38 (part ? of ?)

We talk with Jennifer and Jimmy Liang in this special edition tWoTcast in anticipation of JordanCon 4 with Lauren guest hosting. Jennifer has some important news for JordanCon and A Memory of Light including getting your name in the book and the Wheel of Time being considered for the Hugo Awards and how you can help, also Jono and Joe reveal the much anticipated winner of tWoT PIC look-a-like Extravaganza, and Tom helps us out on a very special outro.

Direct download: 1-38_tWoTcast_episode_38.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 7:00pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 37

tWoTcast episode 37 (part 7 of 7)

Our seventh discussion of book seven of the Wheel of Time, A Crown of Swords. Covering chapters 37-end. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Tom starts a hilarious ongoing discussion of the sword forms as sexual positions, we say goodbye to Mat for about two months, and finally Morridin is a stranger out to find you, and Mashadar is a danger right behind you.

Direct download: 1-37_tWoTcast_episode_37.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 2:22am EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 36

tWoTcast episode 36 (part 6 of 7)

Our sixth discussion of book seven of the Wheel of Time, A Crown of Swords. Covering chapters 30-36. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Joe starts to respect Elayne for a minute or so, Tom is convinced Rand could make a slide out of air, and finally we're all pretty pissed about Fain and the dagger wound, as you all should be.

Direct download: 1-36_tWoTcast_episode_36.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 11:21am EST
Comments[2]

Ask the Dark One

Ask the Dark One is a feature where we forward emails to the Great Lord of the Dark that were sent to us.  Every week you have the opportunity to speak to the Great Lord himself on a variety of issues, including; domestic, romantic, or how you're going to DIE. And seriously, he's just going to tell you how you're going to die. **DISCLAIMER** let it be known we recieved this as an actual email...tWoTcast doesnt actually think rape is funny.

Dear Dark One,
 
I am a part of a collective of small business entrepreneurs who exercise in overwatching mercantile trade routes and seeing to the seamless distribution of goods, specifically by imposing a small, but fair tax in exchange for protective services.
 
Recently, my comrades and I ran into an issue of protocol, that divided us so completely, we were unable to continue our persuasion of a local merchant to barter for his daughter as part of a negotiation in terms. I am hoping that you, with your background in the fine arts of adjudication, could act as a mediator for our best interests.
 
The dispute was: when raping a potential costomers wife, do you run her through first- adding some agony and gore to the ecstasy (my argument was for this, as I feel there is nothing better than the slosh of hot blood on me knees as I have here bent over and am drilling her from behind), in the hopes that she dies from blood loss and degradation sometime during the act of defilement.  Or do you just give her peripheral cuts to put some fear in her, then rape, and then, while she is crying on the ground with shame, kill her? The husband is made to watch during either act, of course, usually while being crucified.
 
What we ended up doing was a gross mistranslation of both acts (a dead lay, if you will- pun intended). Needless to say, it was an unprofessional catastrophe. We are hoping to mitigate any future episodes, as the refugee lines are becoming quite plentiful, thanks to you, and we anticipate a boom in revenue this season.
 
Anxious for your reply,
 
Band of Raping Mauraders

BAND OF RAPING MAURADERS...  THE HUMANS IN THIS DAY AND AGE HAVE SOME OF THE STUPIDEST NAMES EVER KNOWN.  IF YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY YOU'RE IN THE MAFIA, THEN SAY IT.  DON'T CLOAK YOUR ACTS BEHIND "OVERWATCHING MERCANTILE TRADE ROUTES".  IF YOU'RE THREATENING PEOPLE FOR MONEY, FUCKING SAY SO.  I AM THE GREAT LORD OF THE DARK; HIDING BEHIND INNUENDO WITH ME IS AS FOOLISH AS IT IS USELESS.  I CAN SEE INTO YOUR SOUL, WORM, AND I KNOW WHAT YOU DO.  AND I LOVE IT.

NOW FOR THE QUESTION.  EARLY DURING THE YEARS AFTER THE BORE WAS DRILLED INTO MY PRISON, MY CHOSEN BELTHAMEL HAD A SIMILAR QUESTION ON WHAT WE WOULD EVENTUALLY DO WITH ILYENNA SUNHAIR, WIFE OF LEWS THERIN KINSLAYER.  NATURALLY, RAPE AND BLOODSHED WAS PRETTY HIGH ON THE REQUEST LIST.  WE CAME UP WITH SOME SUITABLE SUGGESTIONS, BUT IN AN IRONIC TWIST OF FATE AND GOOD NICKNAMING, LEWS THERIN KILLED HER BEFORE WE COULD.

YOU HAVE POTENTIAL, I MUST SAY, BECAUSE YOU KNOW THE BASIC RULE THAT OF COURSE THE FATHER MUST WATCH.  WITH A CIRCLE OF THIRTEEN OR UNDER SEMHIRAGE'S GENTLE PRESSURE, YOU CAN MAKE THE HUSBAND PARTICIPATE.  THERE'S NOTHING SWEETER THAN THAT.  ALAS, YOU ARE BUT A HUMAN, AND THE TIMES YOU LIVE MEAN YOU ARE EVEN MORE PITIFUL THAN EVER.

YOU SHOW YOUR COMPETENCE AS A LEADER BY HOPING SHE DIES.  THE FEELING OF ONE'S LIFE SLIPPING OUT WHILE YOU SHOOT YOUR LIFE INTO HER IS ONE PLEASURE THAT WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU.  THE BLOOD CASCADING DOWN YOUR LEGS ONLY ADDS ANOTHER LAYER OF DELIGHT.

MY RECOMMENDATION IS THUS: TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR PETTY GROUP AND SLAY THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW THE VALUE OF A GOOD RAPE.  PERIPHERAL CUTS, RAPE THEN KILL?  WHOEVER SUGGESTED THAT SHOULD BE SENT TO SHAYOL GHUL AND I'LL SHOW HIM HOW THIS PROCEDURE IS DONE.  ONCE YOU'VE TAKEN OVER YOUR GROUP, SWEAR YOUR SOUL TO ME AND YOU'LL RISE FAR IN THE WORLD OF THE FRIENDS OF THE DARK.  I CAN GIVE YOU MANY A TASTY MORSEL FOR YOU TO ENJOY, ALL I ASK IS YOUR SOUL.  IF NOT... I HAVE JUST THE LARGE MYRDRAAL WHO WILL GOUGE OUT ONE OF YOUR EYES WITH HIS MEMBER, CUT YOU OPEN WITH TAINTED STEEL, AND GIVE YOU SOME TENDER LOVING TIL YOU SEE ME FOR ETERNITY.

NOW BE GONE, CRETIN.

(Feel free to email Him at tWoTcast@gmail.com, mark the subject as 'Ask the DARK ONE', and we will forward Him your questions. Please never call Him by his name, even in writing, as having His eye on you is not recommended; also, it upsets him to be distracted.)


Jono Coulborn doesn't necessarily condone these activities, and he is a little bit bemused by the amount of rape happening lately...  Follow him on Twitter @JCoulborn

Category:tWoT Blog -- posted at: 10:28am EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 35

tWoTcast episode 35 (part 5 of 7)

Our fifth discussion of book seven of the Wheel of Time, A Crown of Swords. Covering chapters 22-29. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Bad things come in threes, Elayne's head gets cracked open for the third time, three rape chapters featuring Moghedian, Morgase and Mat, and of course three asshole podcasters Jono, Joe and Tom.

Direct download: 1-35_tWoTcast_episode_35_1.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 10:19am EST
Comments[3]

tWoTcast episode 34

tWoTcast episode 34 (part 4 of 7)

Our fourth discussion of book seven of the Wheel of Time, A Crown of Swords. Covering chapters 16-22. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Tom gets us started off in style with a hilarious butt cheek joke, we spare you the details of Rand and Min's first time together, and finally the dreaded Cadsuane appears. Tom hates her, Jono likes her, and Joe hates her currently but is willing to reconsider down the road.

Direct download: 1-34_tWoTcast_episode_34.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 9:00pm EST
Comments[4]

Picture contest everybody! send in a picture of you, someone you know, or a complete stranger to tWoTcast@gmail.com that looks like a character from the books! they dont even have to be wearing a costume. A picture of anyone. Seriously. Contest ends October 31st so hurry. PRIZE is a free Wheel of Time shirt of your choosing OR Volume one of the Wheel of Time comic book the Eye of the World!

Direct download: tWoTpic_look-a-like_extravaganza.m4a
Category:tWoT Blog -- posted at: 11:12am EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 33

tWoTcast episode 33 (part 3 of 7)

Our third discussion of book seven of the Wheel of Time, A Crown of Swords. Covering chapters 11-15. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. The episode is late due to technical issues. Fuck descriptions. Am I right? Funny things are discussed. Serious things are discussed.

Direct download: 1-33_tWoTcast_episode_33.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 2:27am EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 32

tWoTcast episode 32 (part 2 of 7)

Our second discussion of book seven of the Wheel of Time, A Crown of Swords. Covering chapters 4-10. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. What critics call "a show on the internet", Tom adds a red rocket to our bizarre take on Perrin's wolf attributes, and finally Jono likes Chesa, Joe has no opinion of Chesa, and Tom hates Chesa with the fire of a thousand suns.

Direct download: 1-32_tWoTcast_episode_32.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 5:29pm EST
Comments[3]

tWoT Blog: a trolloc recipe with @TrollocTalk

         

@TrollocTalk: I figure it’s time to follow the TWoTcast recipe for Muradin’s eyes with an old fashioned trolloc recipe. I mean, really, I think the entire Wheel of Time series makes clear we’re incredible cooks.  For this, I’ve chosen something my uncle Murray used to make when we had a particularly good haul from a borderlander village.  As an eagle-beaked trolloc, Murray had a great sense for just how various ingredients interacted with the meat.

 

Of course, you non-trolloc scum probably don’t feel like resorting to cannibalism, so I have made some notes of ingredients you can substitute for a lesser meal.  Also, we made this in huge quantities, of course, because we’re ruthless and had hundreds of villagers to eat, but I parsed it down to something just a few humans would eat.  Before we eat them.

 

Human Stew with Herbes de Provence

 

Ingredients:

    2 lb human (SUBSTITUTE lamb) fillet, shoulder or leg, trimmed of fat & cut into 1-inch cubes

    1 tablespoon Essence, recipe follows

    2 tablespoons olive oil

    1/2 cup chopped yellow onions

    1/2 cup diced peeled sweet potatoes

    1/2 cup chopped carrots

    1 tablespoon minced garlic

    1/2 cup human eyes (SUBSTITUTE peeled, seeded, and shopped plum tomatoes)

    1 tablespoon herbes de Provence (Murray traveled with his own but you can find recipes online)

    1/2 teaspoon salt (best when harvested from human tears but tough w/o a channeler)

    1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

    1 cup dry red wine

    3 cups human blood broth (SUBSTITUTE lamb stock)

    Cairheinen or Altaran bread, accompaniment

 

 

Murray’s Essence:

    2 1/2 tablespoons paprika

    2 tablespoons salt

    2 tablespoons garlic powder

    1 tablespoon ground black pepper

    1 tablespoon onion powder

    1 tablespoon cayenne

    1 tablespoon dried oregano

    1 tablespoon dried thyme

 

Place all the ingredients in a bowl or hollowed out human skull and stir well to combine thoroughly. Yield: about 2/3 cup

 

 

Directions:

 

Season the meat with the Essence and use your hands/claws to coat the meat thoroughly. In the bottom of a trolloc cookpot (the finest cooking mechanism even created), heat the oil over a medium-high fire. Add the seasoned human meat (SUBSTITUTE lamb) and cook, stirring, until browned, about 5 minutes. Remove with a rusty sword to the back of a shield, and set aside.

 

To the fat in the cookpot, add the onions, potatoes, and carrots, and cook, stirring, for 3 minutes. Add the garlic and cook for 1 minute. Add the tomatoes, herbs, salt, pepper, and red wine, and bring to a boil. Cook until reduced by half, about 3 minutes, stirring to deglaze the cookpot. Add the human and blood (SUBSTITUTE lamb and stock) to the cookpot and return to a boil. Reduce the fire to medium-low and simmer until the human (SUBSTITUTE lamb) is tender, about 30 to 35 minutes.

 

Remove from the heat and adjust the seasoning, to taste. Ladle into soup bowls and serve with hot, crusty Cairheinen or Altaran bread.

Category:tWoT Blog -- posted at: 8:23pm EST
Comments[21]

tWoTcast episode 31

tWoTcast episode 31 (part 1 of 7)

Our first discussion of book seven of the Wheel of Time, A Crown of Swords. Covering chapters 1-3 and the prologue. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Cover talk part seven; is that a bird-faced trolloc or Faile? The prologue is filled with characters we hate and long as hell, the aiel's version of a hilarious joke on wetlanders is a helicoptor dick, and finally Perrin spends two chapters trying to get Rand to follow his nose.

Direct download: 1-31_tWoTcast_episode_31.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 1:46pm EST
Comments[420]

tWoTcast episode 30

tWoTcast episode 30 (part 5 of 5)

Our fifth and final discussion of book six of the Wheel of Time, Lord of Chaos. Covering chapters 52-55 and the epilogue. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. We recorded LIVE from Dragon*con! ...and then it was lost. Join us for this episode as we mourn our own stupidity while simultaneously planning ahead for it.

Direct download: 30_tWoTcast_episode_30.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 10:13pm EST
Comments[2]

tWoT Blog: Trolloc Talk with @TrollocTalk

We trollocs don’t get much face time in the middle books of the Wheel of Time series.  I’m convinced that it’s just more anti-trolloc bigotry on the part of Robert Jordan, but I’ll do my best to forgive him.  Despite his glaring omission, I am here once again to shed some light on events surrounding trollocs that have been overlooked.

 

Of course, I can’t tell you specifics about what trollocs have been up to, because it might give away critical tactical and strategic information.  Haha, I mean, really, if I told you a bunch of us headed down to Murandy to hook up with Demandred and his plan to take Caemlyn, that would be BAD.  You get the point.

 

But I think it’s pretty clear that trollocs have been doing a whole lot of moving around, even in the middle books of the Wheel of Time.  Our main mode of transportation is obviously The Ways, that super sucky interdimensional superhighway of crap.  To show you what the time has been like for us trollocs, I figured I’d share my friend Carl’s diary from such travels with you.  You’ll need to keep in mind that Carl is a raccoon-headed kind of trolloc, and, well…I’m sure you know what that means.  Still, this is pretty representative of the experience for all of us.

 

DAY 1:

So, the lights are down in here, and the place looks awfully goth, so I’m excited to finally make it to the auditorium area and see The Black Wind perform.  The way Myrddraal Dan describes them, these guys will totally make us scream.  Still, the stage seems awfully far away…

 

DAY 3:

I admit I can’t read what’s on these guiding stones at intersections, but something tells me it’s porn.  Man, I wish I could read.

 

DAY 6:

Myrddral Dan is getting pretty cagy about when we’re going to get to see The Black Wind, but has begun hinting that he has some backstage passes that he’ll give to those of us who do best at keeping the others moving.  That’s getting tough – some of the guys are totally pussing.  You’d think they were afraid of the dark.  Rick vanished last night, but seriously, I’ve seen Alex and Stan eying him up for a while with hungry eyes.  I’m pretty sure they ate him.  I mean, what else could it be?  Some semi-sentient force of evil so malignant that it just sucks out our souls and leaves our bodies behind to fall off the platforms?  Haha.  Ridiculous.

 

DAY 8:

I overheard some of the guys talking about The Black Wind.  Apparently Myrddral Dan is being so secretive because they’re actually an afrobeat band and he’s afraid it’s a little too hipster for us.

 

DAY 9 (Bedtime):

Some of the guys ended the day’s hike at the top of a big squiggly red slide (almost like a chute), fell down it, and now have to work their way over to a ladder to get back up here.  Those guys will never catch up.

 

DAY 11:

I think we’re lost.  Myrddraal Mike just admitted he kicked the map off of a platform yesterday.  Josh found a little doll made of sticks.  One of the guys is just standing over on the corner of this platform, facing away from us.  This whole trip gives me the creeps.

 

DAY 12:

Arrived at our destination and left The Ways.  A third of the guys ended up stuck in corners, falling off bridges or platforms, or falling down those big red chutes.  What a waste.  Myrddraal Dan is saying it wasn’t worth seeing The Black Wind anyway – apparently it’s a pretty soul-sucking experience.  Guess they’re a power ballad band, after all.

 

 

TrollocTalk doesn’t use The Ways, preferring to drive, at least when his jo-car isn’t in the shop.  When it is, you can hear him gripe about it on Twitter @trolloctalk

Category:tWoT Blog -- posted at: 11:30am EST
Comments[4]

tWoTcast episode 29

tWoTcast episode 29 (part 4 of 5)

Our fourth discussion of book six of the Wheel of Time, Lord of Chaos. Covering chapters 37-51. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Aviendha asks Elayne to cut a scarlet A in her back, Jono thinks the Black Tower is like a secret agent training camp and finally Galina's 13 pull off the biggest heist in Vegas history.

 

Direct download: 04_tWoTcast_episode_29.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 12:00am EST
Comments[1]

Cast Member Profile: Joe O'Hara

Artist, lover, podcaster and general straight man between Tom and Jono. Joe loves all things comics and for some reason toys which clutter up his many book shelves. Costuming at cons has become an odd extension of his love of Halloween. Joe has been reading the Wheel of Time since he was fifteen and has loved the series ever since. Highlights include the painful years waiting to hear if Mat survived being crushed by a wall only to not have him show up for an entire book. Joe is a graduate of GSU with a Bachelor of Fine Arts in drawing and painting and is looking into his masters degree in Sequential Art. In his spare time he started a soccer team with Jono and loves to play but has been lazy for the last few years due to school and plans on correcting this shortly. Yearly participant in the Peachtree Road Race and other local races, Joe also bike rides on random occasions. You can find his work on tWoTcast.com under tWoT ART or at studiojohara.blogspot.com. and of course listen to the podcast starring his friend Jono, himself, and his brother Tom, with his wife Lauren editing.

Category:Cast Members -- posted at: 9:35pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 28

tWoTcast episode 28 (part 3 of 5)

Our third discussion of book six of the Wheel of Time, Lord of Chaos. Covering chapters 21-36. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. If Rand walked through the ways would it cleanse its own taint, Egwene and Gawyn make out in an Inn called the Long Man, and finally Joe really sucks at highlighting words.

Direct download: 03_tWoTcast_episode_28.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 9:15pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTART: Sketch

Joe, of tWoTcast fame, is currently beginning work on some Wheel of Time inspired pieces.  Along the way we thought we'd occasionally post some of his concept sketches. Here is the final sketch for Rand al'Thor. Let him know what you think on twitter @tWoTcast or tWoTcast @gmail.com

Joe O'Hara thinks Rand could probably use that stump in the bedroom with Min in some interesting ways. Follow him on Twitter at @joeohara98

Category:tWoT Art -- posted at: 3:32pm EST
Comments[1]

tWoTcast episode 27

tWoTcast episode 27 (part 2 of 5)

Our second discussion of book six of the Wheel of Time, Lord of Chaos. Covering chapters 8-20. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. @Shadowspleen sends us his Min commentary and we have a listen, Rand gets bonded by Alanna and we wonder if he's once, twice, three times a warder, and finally Jono wonders aloud about how large and Ogier flower is.

Direct download: 02_tWoTcast_episode_27.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 7:00am EST
Comments[2]

ASK THE DARK ONE

Ask the Dark One is a feature where we forward emails to the Great Lord of the Dark that were sent to us.  Every week you have the opportunity to speak to the Great Lord himself on a variety of issues, including; domestic, romantic, or how you're going to DIE. And seriously, he's just going to tell you how you're going to die.

Hey Dark One,

Why is it so damn hot? Surely there's another way to assert your will without so much sweat and body odor.

You suck,

Valley Butcher

VALLEY BUTCHER.  FIRST OF ALL, YOUR NAME BLOWS.  I'M THE BUTCHER OF THE VALLEY OF THAKAN'DAR AND THE REST IS DROSS.  CHANGE YOUR NAME OR I'LL CHANGE YOUR GENDER BY HAVING A DRAGKHAR SEDUCE YOU, THEN WAKE YOU BY PUTTING A GLASS ROD DOWN YOUR URETHRA AND HITTING IT WITH A HAMMER.  SOME PEOPLE PREFER THAT TO WHAT SEMHIRAGE WOULD DO WITH YOU FOR A ROMANTIC EVENING THOUGH, SO COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY.

SECONDLY, I LIKE THE SMELL OF A SWEATY HUMAN.  IT REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF WHY THEY ARE AN INSIGNFICANT SPECIES.  THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE SO LITTLE CONTROL OVER YOUR BODILY FUNCTIONS AS TO ACTUALLY SWEAT SHOWS YOU ARE AN INSIGNIFICANT TWIT, UNWORTHY OF EVEN BEING A WORM BELOW SHAIDAR HARAN'S BOOT, LET ALONE BEING ABLE TO SNIFF MY PISS, IF I HAD ANY.  HERE'S A PLAN: TAKE THAT GLASS THAT JUST TORE OUT YOUR MAN HOOD AND SWALLOW IT.  AS IT BEGINS TO WIND ITS WAY THROUGH YOUR GUTS, THINK OF ALL THE WARM TIMES YOU WILL SOON HAVE WITH ME.

Dear Dark One,

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

From Ta'veren Tees

THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION.  BASICALLY, IT DEPENDS.  FIRST, THERE'S THE OLD STANDBY WHERE AN OWL GETS BORED AND STOPS AT THREE, BUT I ALWAYS FELT THAT WAS UNFAIR.  I SUPPOSE THE ANSWER DEPENDS ON THE AMOUNT OF SALIVA AND THE ROUGHNESS OF YOUR TONGUE.  IN SHORT, THE WORLD MAY NEVER KNOW.

ON THE OTHER HAND, IF YOUR ASKING ABOUT HOW LONG IT TAKES FOR MY SHADOW RISING TO POP ON YOU, TOOTSIE, I'D HAVE TO SAY COME AND FIND OUT.  I WILL SAY IT MIGHT ALSO DEPEND ON THE AMOUNT OF SALIVA AND ROUGHNESS OF YOUR TONGUE.  JUST DON'T BITE OR I'D HAVE TO CUT YOU OUT OF YOUR SKIN, DRY IT AND LET SOMEONE ELSE LITERALLY WEAR HIS OR HER OWN TA'VEREN TEE SHIRT.  AND WE DON'T WANT THAT.

Hey Dark One!

You've given some good advice lately.  Why don't you make your own consulting firm?  I feel like you could probably take over the world less violently in a few decades.

Thanks, Devon

DEVON.  WHAT THE FUCK GENDER ARE YOU?  WHERE DO ALL YOU PEOPLE GET SUCH BAD NAMES?  AS FOR YOUR SUGGESTION, FUCK YOU.  WHAT IS THE WORLD WITHOUT VIOLENCE?  DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND CUT YOURSELF IN HALF BEFORE I BREAK THROUGH THE BORE.  THEN, HAVE WHATEVER ENTITY YOU PAY TO BE A "FRIEND" STITCH YOUR UPPER BODY INSIDE YOUR LOWER.  YOUR HEAD IS ALREADY SO FAR UP YOUR ASS, YOU MIGHT AS WELL MAKE IT A PERMENANT SOLUTION.

FUCK YOU, I'M OUT.

(Feel free to email Him at tWoTcast@gmail.com, mark the subject as 'Ask the DARK ONE', and we will forward Him your questions. Please never call Him by his name, even in writing, as having His eye on you is not recommended; also, it upsets him to be distracted.)

Jono Coulborn doesn't necessarily condone these activities, but he does find the advice recommended here moderately arousing.  Follow him on Twitter @JCoulborn


Category:tWoT Blog -- posted at: 2:40pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 26

tWoTcast episode 26 (part 1 of 5)

Our first discussion of book six of the Wheel of Time, Lord of Chaos. Covering chapters 1-7 and the prologue. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Tom's back! Inevitable cover talk, black ajah mailboxes, the birth of the Black Tower, and Jono loves Mat for his appreciation of music and dance?

Direct download: 26_tWoTcast_episode_26.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 2:05pm EST
Comments[2]

tWoTcast episode 25

tWoTcast episode 25 (part ? of ?)

We talk with Jennifer Liang in this special edition tWoTcast in anticipation of Dragon*con 2011. We throw in some memories of Jordancon and Dragon*cons past while discussing the schedule and everything in between.

Direct download: tWoTcast_episode_25.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 11:26pm EST
Comments[4]

tWoTART: Egwene al'Vere

Joe, of tWoTcast fame, is currently beginning work on some Wheel of Time inspired pieces. The first piece completed is Egwene al'Vere from her famous scene of badassery during the Seanchan raid on the White Tower. Let him know what you think on twitter @tWoTcast or tWoTcast @gmail.com


Joe O'Hara likes strong woman, just ask Lauren who posed for Egwene. Follow him on Twitter at @joeohara98

Category:tWoT Art -- posted at: 1:00am EST
Comments[2]

tWoTcast episode 24

tWoTcast episode 24 (part 5 of 5) 

Our fifth discussion of book five of the Wheel of Time, The Fires of Heaven. Covering chapters 48-56. Featuring: Jono and Joe, Tom is probably dead. Jono and Joe place a bet on Galad and Rand realizing they are brothers, we say goodbye to Moiraine and Jono cries, and we inevitably discuss Asmodean.

Direct download: 05_tWoTcast_episode_24.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 3:17am EST
Comments[6]

The Shadow Loves the Internet

The guys of tWoTcast recently expressed surprise that Melindhra would use Craigslist to reach Hadnan Kadere in Chapter 29 of The Fires of Heaven, Memories of Saldaea.  Maybe I think it’s obvious just because of my own use of such devices, but frankly, the Shadow LOVES to use internet services and social networks.  Check it out:

 

Example #1:  Um, yeah.  Me.  @TrollocTalk. I’m like the King of Twitter or something.  And I quote myself, “How do people not realize that no matter how hot Lanfear is overall, when it comes to breasts, Berelain's got her beat, hands down? #idiots”  Fuck, I’m awesome.  I should have more followers.  #thinkonit

 

Example #2:  The Shadow totally uses Craigslist:

SHORT SALE!!!!  GREAT PRICE!!  NATRIN’S BARROW–ELEGANT AND FORTIFIED–YET PALATIAL

-  Convenient Western Arad Doman location!

-  Recent, um, renovations

-  Excellent fixer-upper – make this space your own

-  Previous owner left quickly, no time to sell – nothing wrong with the property!

-  Once visited by the Lord Dragon Reborn himself!

 

Example #3:  Rahvin’s MySpace page hasn’t been updated in a while.  Awkward.

Mood:  way confident

Groups:  The Chosen (aka The Greensome Thirteensome)

Here For:  Bitches to mind control and mack on

Orientation:  Totally Hetero

Hometown:  You’ve never heard of it

Education:  Graduate of the Collam Daam (Go Fightin’ Grolm!)

Occupation:  Totally gonna rule Andor FOREVER

 

Example #4:  Demandred finally checked in via Foursquare.  I can’t tell you where, though.  Just kidding, he’s in Murandy.

 

Example #5:  Facebook has become pretty popular with the Shadow, as well.  Here’s a post on Aran’gar’s wall:

Delana Mosalaine is excited to be hiding out with her new BFF Aran’gar.  Everything’s going to work out great from here!  Lol!  (^_^)

 

Example #6:  Moghedien is on Google+.  By herself.

 

And finally…

 

Example #7:  Me and the boys are using Meetup to get things organized!

Organizers:  Moridin, Shadar Haran

Event:  Tarmon Gai’don

Date:  April 2012 (exact date TBD)

Location:  Tarwin’s Gap

Description:  It’s the big one, guys.  Get your rusty weapons and armor together and head down to the Gap!  There’s word that Aan’allein is gonna come out of retirement from the military and make a surprise appearance – don’t miss out!

 

Trolloc Talk is apparently the King of Twitter.  Find him there @TrollocTalk

Category:tWoT Blog -- posted at: 5:00am EST
Comments[0]

tWoTART: Sketch

Joe, of tWoTcast fame, is currently beginning work on some Wheel of Time inspired pieces.  Along the way we thought we'd occasionally post some of his concept sketches. Here is the final sketch for Egwene al'Vere. 


Joe O'Hara thinks Egwene is hardcore during the Seanchan raid on the White Tower. Follow him on Twitter at @joeohara98

Category:tWoT Art -- posted at: 12:05am EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 23

tWoTcast episode 23 (part 4 of 5)

Our fourth discussion of book five of the Wheel of Time, The Fires of Heaven. Covering chapters 37-47. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Nyneave accidently starts a war, after the battle of Cairhien who braids a string into Couladin’s hair? and anybody talking about glory is a dark friend.

Direct download: 04_tWoTcast_episode_23.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 4:35pm EST
Comments[0]

Ask the Dark One

Ask the Dark One is a feature where we forward emails to the Great Lord of the Dark that were sent to us.  Every week you have the opportunity to speak to the Great Lord himself on a variety of issues, including; domestic, romantic, or how you're going to DIE. And seriously, he's just going to tell you how you're going to die.

 

Why are you not more evil than @Lord_Voldemort7? Or at least more funny. Surely you have better materials than him. Where is the evil? All I hear are rants. Too long in Shayol Ghul?

Princess Relena

 

HMMMM…. MORE EVIL?  WELL PRINCESS RELENA, I HAVE GOOD NEWS: IT HAS INDEED BEEN TOO LONG I’VE BEEN ALONE IN SHAYOL GHUL AND I'M LONELY.  I THINK I'D LIKE TO HAVE SOME OF YOUR LOVED ONES COME JOIN ME.  YOUR MOTHER'S A NICE WOMAN.  HOW BOUT I GET SOME TROLLOCS TO CAPTURE HER, CARRY THEM TO THAKAN'DAR AND HAVE HER MAKE SWORDS.  BY QUENCHING THEM IN HER BLOOD.  OR YOUR CUTE LITTLE BROTHER.  I HEAR HE'S A BIT OF A DEVIANT; HE MIGHT LIKE THIS PLAN: I'M GOING TO HAVE SOME OF MY RAVENS PECK OUT HIS EYES AND HAVE A MYRDRAAL FUCK THE HOLES.  SHOULD BE A FUN FAMILY REUNION.  YOU SHOULD COME BY.  ALSO, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU A PRINCESS OF?  SHUT YOUR MOUTH, GET IN THE KITCHEN AND OPEN YOUR VEINS.


 

Dark One, if I may be so bold, I’m a long time worshiper, first time writer.  Gotta personal question: I’m a senior in high school and hate my teacher.  It’s lit class, but we read the most boring shit.  I’m talking BORING.  We’re supposed to read more than just what’s instructed so I read WoT in my spare time, but I feel my teacher doesn’t think that’s “literature” or something.  He never says anything, but still.  How do I kill him?

Eric

 

ERIC, THIS IS A PRETTY COMMON QUESTION.  BESIDES THE UTTER STUPIDITY OF CALLING YOURSELF A FIRST TIME WRITER AND LONG TIME WORSHIPPER, YOU SEEM PUT TOGETHER.  TO BEGIN ERIC, YOU MAY NOT WANT TO KILL YOUR TEACHER.  AT LEAST NOT AT FIRST.  I FIND TORTURE TO BE A GOOD WAY TO GET SOMEONE’S ATTENTION.  AMBUSH YOUR TEACHER AND TIE HIM TO HIS TOILET.  TURN THE WATER OFF TO THAT TOILET.  HAVE YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS DEFICATE AND URINATE IN IT A LOT.  THE SMELL OF HIS FAILURE TO RECOGNIZE GOOD LITERATURE WILL DRIVE HIM INSANE.  I MIGHT RECOMMEND TAKING A SHAKESPEAR, OR SOME OTHER BORING BULLSHIT, BOOK AND GIVING HIM PAPER CUTS ALL OVER, PREFERABLE AROUND THE EYES AND GENITALS.  THEY’RE MORE FUN.  ALSO, PISS IN THE CUTS.  HILARIOUS!  ASK HIM BIZARRE QUESTIONS LIKE “WHAT’S THE FREQUENCY, KENNETH” TIL HE ADMITS HIS IGNORANCE AND ACCEPSTS THE WHEEL OF TIME INTO HIS HEART.  DO NOT LET HIM GO AS THIS MIGHT BE A FAINT AND YOU’D BE IN TROUBLE.  INSTEAD, KILL HIM.  THEN COME SWEAR YOUR SOUL AND WORSHIP MY AWESOMENESS AND SOUND ADVICE COLUMN.  OR I’LL TORTURE AND KILL YOU, TOO.

 

 

Sha$’#*n, tWoTcast,

Thanks for doing these columns.  Loving it so far!

Andrew

 

ANDREW.  DO YOU THINK I CAN’T READ THROUGH ASTERISKS AND DOLLAR SIGNS AND WHATEVER PUNY SHIT YOU THINK WILL SHIELD YOUR PUSSY ASS FROM ME?  I’M GOING HAVE SHAIDAR HARAN PISS UP YOUR NOSTRIL, THEN GUT YOU.

 

 

Hey, I though the “Ask the Dark One” column was a weekly feature.  Where’s this one’s?!

-Gabe

 

GABE.  SHUT THE FUCK UP AND HANG YOURSELF.  MAYBE THE SIGHT OF YOUR CORPSE DRIFTING IN THE BREEZE WILL AT LEAST GIVE SOMEONE A LITTLE SATISFACTION.  ALSO, YOUR NAME SUCKS.

 

 

(Feel free to email Him at tWoTcast@gmail.com, mark the subject as 'Ask the DARK ONE', and we will forward Him your questions. Please never call Him by his name, even in writing, as having His eye on you is not recommended; also, it upsets him to be distracted.)

Jono Coulborn is not the DARK ONE, but he might get off on Gabe’s corpse swinging in the thre breeze. Follow him on twitter @JCoulborn

Category:tWoT Blog -- posted at: 1:25pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 22

tWoTcast episode 22 (part 3 of 5)

Our third discussion of book five of the Wheel of Time, The Fires of Heaven. Covering chapters 22-36. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Moiraine could use the redstone doorway as a “sex tool” and no one would ever realize she is staying oddly close to it, Isendre is not as good looking as Natalie Portman with no hair, and finally Jono insists we go into detail on Rand and Aviendha’s sexy time.

Direct download: 03_tWoTcast_episode_22.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 10:22pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTART: Watercolor Sketch

Joe, of tWoTcast fame, is currently beginning work on some Wheel of Time inspired pieces.  Along the way we thought we'd occasionally post some of his concept sketches.  Keep in mind these are very raw, unfinished works, but we thought you'd enjoy seeing them.  So, you know, enjoy.

Joe O'Hara has some questionable loyalties, seeing as how he started his art project with Trollocs as the subject matter.  Follow him on Twitter at @joeohara98

Category:tWoT Art -- posted at: 1:44pm EST
Comments[0]

The Tale of Fain's Lost Trollocs

The guys of tWoTCast have asked what ever happened to the remaining trollocs of Padan Fain’s after he left the two rivers.  In Lord of Chaos, Chapter 28, Letters, we see the final reference to Fain’s few remaining trollocs, outside of Caemlyn.  We trollocs sent Robert Jordan an account of what happened to them thereafter, to be included at the end of the chapter, but he rejected it.  Jerk.  So, for your reading pleasure, here is the final account of those few remaining trollocs.  Poor bastards.

 

    Letters (contd)

The sun filtered through the oak and leatherleaf above.  As the leaves rustled in the breeze, the light flickered and danced over the dirty, knotted fur of the small band of trollocs hiding in the copse of trees.  The four trollocs sat in a circle, their stench nearly obscured by the sweet aroma of two rivers tabac, which they smoked from a pipe that they passed amongst each other.

Fain had left them, and no one complained.  The guy was kind of a dick.  And weird, really.  Beady little eyes.  Penchant for horrific killings.  The trollocs were fans of murder and mayhem, but Fain had seemed to like his job a bit too much.  They were all in agreement that he was in serious need of a vacation.  A vacation far away from them.

But now Fain was gone, and the trollocs needed to decide what to do next.  They had agreed Brok would be their leader, but such things were fleeting amongst trollocs, and Brok knew it.  He hoped to hold them together long enough to get them out of Andor and back to someplace much more unpleasant and suited to their tastes.  He’d eat one of the others if he had to, but trolloc meat was kind of bland, and reminded him of nights in his childhood when his mom didn’t feel like cooking.  Dinners of cold sibling had sucked.

“I’m hungry.  Let’s go find a village or a homestead and cook us up some human burgers.”  Pete was always impetuous, and Brok hated him.  If he was going to eat any one of the others, it would be Pete, just so he didn’t have to listen to him anymore, but the effort would get on Brok’s nerves.  The fight to kill Pete would be brutal at its easiest.

Brok took a deep breath before responding.  No need to kill Pete yet.  “That wouldn’t be prudent, Pete,” he growled.  So much for staying calm.  “We need to get out of the area quietly, and killing a bunch of folks would raise awareness of our presence like a Tinker orgy.”  Everyone knew Tinkers liked to get freaky.

“Whatever,” said Pete,”you’re just a pussy.  Better to carve our way out of here than sneak around like a bunch of bitches.  God, you’re worse than that Aybara kid with his skank wife.  Waah wahh, what should I do?”  It was a low blow.  Being compared to Lord Perrin’s douche behavior with his wife was nearly the ultimate insult.

Fortunately, Craig spoke up and broke the tension.  “We could get jobs.”

“Jobs,” said Pete.  He stood and began to pace on hoofed feet as he ranted.  “Are you fucking serious, you parrot-faced dipshit?”  When Pete got angry he would always demean their animal heritage, and it worked especially well to unnerve eagle-faced Craig.  “What are we gonna do, walk into town and ply some sort of trade?  ‘No really, goodwife, we don’t care to eat you today.  We’re hoping you’ll take us in and let us bake some motherfucking honeycakes.  Cheerio.’  Not exactly, Craig.  Fuck, you’re a moron.  Fain should have turned you into the dribbling lobotomy victim instead of Hank.”

Across the circle, Hank drooled from his ram’s mouth and farted.  His eyes gazed longingly into space, as if he were watching a few dozen female trollocs, who look just like super hot human women, dance the sa’sara in the Thriller video.

Brok was fed up.  They would get nowhere with Pete, Brok was sure.  Catching Pete off guard, Brok hurled his giant axe at him.  The axe embedded itself in the left of Pete’s chest and shoulder.  Pete flinched but hardly hesitated, grabbing the axe out of his own body with his still-good right hand.  The force of his pull swung the axe wildly out to Pete’s right, where it accidentally lopped off Hank’s head.  Hanks’ body toppled over with one final drawn out wet fart.

Brok and Pete charged at each other, preparing for a life and death struggle for dominance.  Just before impact, Brok felt a tug on his leg and the ground rushed up at him.  The top of his head collided with Pete’s knee and the world shook.  It shook again as Pete’s body collapsed on top of him.  Dazed, Brok slowly turned under Pete’s weight, struggling to face him and continue the fight.  As he did, he realized Pete wasn’t moving, and as his vision cleared, he saw Craig’s pike protruding from Pete’s body where neck met shoulder.

“What…?” asked Brok.

Craig walked slowly to Brok, carrying Hanks’ rusty sword.  He knelt over Brok, looking directly into his eyes.  “I’m sorry, man, but I’m not going back up north.  I’m gonna go get a job.  I make a mean honeycake.”  Before Brok could even think of a response, Craig drove Hanks’ sword through his chest, and over his dying gurgling breaths, Brok heard Craig walking away and already rehearsing his speech, “Ma’am I’m not going to hurt you, I’ve turned to the Light.  Please let me show you how delicious my honeycakes are…”

For years thereafter, in a small village north of Caemlyn, it was well known that Betie Harker’s inn, The Trolloc’s Rest (with a sign depicting a dead trolloc in a grave) had the best honeycakes in the land, made by her reclusive and allegedly deformed cousin (for no one ever laid eyes on him), Craig, who had come to live with her in the days after the Dragon seized power in Andor.

 

Trolloc Talk is the outlet for a creatively repressed trolloc who would be balefired if the Forsaken caught him engaging in such insolence.  Follow him on Twitter @TrollocTalk

Category:tWoT Blog -- posted at: 1:07pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 21

tWoTcast episode 21 (part 2 of 5)

Part two of five. Our second discussion of book five of the Wheel of Time, The Fires of Heaven. Covering chapters 8-21. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Thom and Elayne get real awkward, will Gaidal Cain fight the last battle as a two-year old and talk of bloody sword hilts gets vulgar.

Direct download: 02_tWoTcast_episode_21.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 3:39pm EST
Comments[0]

Ask the DARK ONE!

Ask the Dark One is a feature where we forward emails to the Great
Lord of the Dark that were sent to us.  Every week you have the
opportunity to speak to the Great Lord himself on a variety of issues,
including; domestic, romantic, or how you're going to DIE. And
seriously, he's just going to tell you how you're going to die.


Hey,
Just wondering if you ever tapped Lanfear? I hear she has great boobs
and was hoping to get your opinion. Thanks for doing what you do.

Rob

DEAR ROB,
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK GOES ON AT SHAYOL GHUL THAT HAS EVERYONE IN
ECSTASY OTHER THAN ME TAPPING THEM?  WHEN LANFEAR FIRST TAPPED THE
BORE, SHE FELT FIRSTHAND THE WANTON LUST OF MY MASSIVE SHADOW RISING
AND THE WARMTH OF MY TRUE POWER FLOWING THROUGH HER.  WHENEVER SHE
CAN, SHE WANTS MY DARKNESS ALL OVER HER MILKY BREATS.  SO, YES,
THEY’RE WONDERFUL.  BUT AS A NONHUMAN ENTITY, I DON’T FAVOR EITHER MAN
OR WOMAN.  I FUCKED THE SHIT OUT OF BEIDOMON WHEN HE HELPED TAP ME,
TOO.
YOUR INTEREST IN MY CHOSEN IS APPRECIATED, ROB.  PERHAPS YOU SHOULD
COME TO SHAYOL GHUL AND PLEDGE YOUR SOUL IN THE EVERLASTING ECSTASY
THAT IS MY FOULNESS RUNNING DOWN YOUR FACE.  OR, I COULD TEAR OUT YOUR
PUNY MANMEAT AND HAVE A TROLLOC EAT IT, THEN MOUNT YOU LIKE A
BROODMARE.
YOUR CHOICE, ROB.

Whew tWoTcast!  Hope you guys could forward my message to the Dark One
for me; and don’t worry, I won’t call him by name.
Dear Dark One: From the last column it seemed as though you’re open to
answering romantic questions, so I have one.  My girlfriend Jessica
and I’ve been together for about 4 years now; should I propose to her?
 We live together and all, but I sometimes wonder.  And there’s this
new girl at work that’s really flirty and cuter…  What are your
thoughts?
With evil,
Jason

JASON, THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST VAGINAL QUESTIONS I’VE EVER FIELDED.
FIRST OF ALL, YOU’RE TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO ACTUALLY EMBRACE MY EVIL
YOURSELF, SO YOU HAVE THE GUYS FROM TwOtCAST DO IT?!  YOU’RE A BITCH.
AND, YOU SIGNED IT “WITH EVIL”?  GO BACK TO BREAST FEEDING WITH YOUR
MOM, PUSSY.
ALSO, WHY THE FUCK WOULD I CARE ABOUT YOUR ROMANTIC INQUIRY?  WHAT DO
I LOOK LIKE, DR. FUCKING DREW?  HERE’S SOME ADVICE, FUCK THEM BOTH FOR
A BIT, THEN COME TO THE PIT OF DOOM.  THEN, SKIN THEM IN THE GLORY OF
MY RADIANCE WHILE YOU RECEIVE THE GIFT OF IMMORTALITY.  THAT’S A
RELATIONSHIP THAT WILL LAST FOREVER.  OR, MARRY YOUR GIRLFRIEND,
JASON.  AND WHEN I BREAK FREE, I’LL TAKE YOUR SOUL, PUT IT IN A
MINDTRAP, AND WEAR IT AROUND MY RINGFINGER LIKE A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING
RING.  NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP AND FUCK OFF.

Hey, love the Ask the Dark One feature.  It’s real nice of you to send
emails His way.  How did you guys get contracted for that?
- Sally (not Daera!)

SALLY, THE ONLY THING MORE INANE THAN YOUR QUESTION IS YOUR STUPID
JOKE ABOUT SALIDAR.  IF I CAN PLANT MY THE SEED OF DISSENSION IN THAT
RAGTAG REJECT AES SEDAI CAMP, DON’T YOU THINK I CAN PLANT MY SEED IN
YOU?!
I CONTRACTED OUT TO THE LOWEST RESPONSIBLE BIDDER WHO HAD A GLOBAL
AUDIENCE SO I COULD HAVE MY GOSPEL SPREAD FAR AND WIDE.  TwOtCAST,
THOUGH NOT EXACTLY RESPONSIBLE, WON THE BID BECAUSE THEY KNOW WHICH
SIDE WILL WIN THE WAR.
NOW, SALLY, NOT FUCKNG DAERA THE STUPID FUCKING TOWN, DO YOU WANT MY
SEED PLANTED IN YOU GIVING YOU THE GIFT OF THE TRUE POWER?  OR DO YOU
WANT BE USED AS FODDER FOR TROLLOCS, AFTER THEY PLANT THEIR SEED IN
YOU AND MAKE YOU BIRTH MYRDRAAL?  IT’S ALL UP TO YOU.

(Feel free to email Him at tWoTcast@gmail.com, mark the subject as 'Ask the DARK ONE', and we will forward Him your questions. Please never call Him by his name, even in writing, as having His eye on you is not recommended; also, it upsets him to be distracted.)

Jono Coulborn is not the DARK ONE, but he has a shadow rising, if you know what he means. Follow him on twitter @JCoulborn

Category:tWoT Blog -- posted at: 8:04pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTART: Sketch

Joe, of tWoTcast fame, is currently beginning work on some Wheel of Time inspired pieces.  Along the way we thought we'd occasionally post some of his concept sketches.  Keep in mind these are very raw, unfinished works, but we thought you'd enjoy seeing them.  So, you know, enjoy.

Joe O'Hara has some questionable loyalties, seeing as how he started his art project with Trollocs as the subject matter.  Follow him on Twitter at @joeohara98

Category:tWoT Art -- posted at: 10:51am EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 20

tWoTcast episode 20 (part 1 of 5)


Our first discussion of book five of the Wheel of Time, The Fires of Heaven. Covering chapters 1-7 and the prologue. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. We talk about the cover of book five, Tom would enjoy being under compulsion Morgase style, and finally is dreamwalking potentially Wheel of Time internet porn?

Direct download: 01_tWoTcast_episode_20.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 7:12pm EST
Comments[0]

The Mysteriously Missing Maid

Having not actually been on the ground during the riots in Tanchico, i've had a difficult time writing about the things that are happening there.  I've had to rely on other sources around the internet to try and paint a whole picture of exactly what is going on there for my readers to get an idea of how these events are affecting the people of Tanchico.  One of the most effective devices for me was using Twitter to capture what was happening throughout the city in real time.  One of the tweeters i had been following, a maid in the Panarch's Palace, had a particularly interesting Twitter timeline on the day the Palace burned.  I tried getting in touch with her afterward, because I wanted to get a more in depth viewpoint from someone who was inside the Palace when the riots happened.  I was unable to get in touch with her, and it turns out this was because she had disappeared.  No one in her family or on the Palace staff seems to know where she went.  Local officials refuse to acknowledge even that she may be dead, because her body was not recovered from the Palace when the dust settled.  Here I present to you her complete Twitter timeline from a few days before the riots right up until she disappeared:


@panarchsmaid Have to go to some bullshit meeting at work.  Wonder what it's about?

@panarchsmaid Well i'm being forced to move out of the Palace.  There are new nobles moving in to avoid the riots.  #FML

@panarchsmaid Seriously guys, how much room do 11 women need?!

@panarchsmaid Had to move back home.  My dad is calling me a 'baby boomerang'.  Whatever that means.

@panarchsmaid Hooray!  Wasn't raped on the walk home today!  Seriously, these riots are ridiculous. >:(

@panarchsmaid SO sick of the kitchens.  More and more work to do, no new maids.

@panarchsmaid OMG! One of the cooks has to eat bread and water only now for eating cream that one of the new ladies likes to feed her cats!

@panarchsmaid Everyone is calling Lady Marillin 'Crazy Cat Lady Marillin' now. LOL

@panarchsmaid God, who has this much free time to play with cats?! Must be nice.

@panarchsmaid Crazy Cat Lady Marillin is crazy

@panarchsmaid Seriously, CCLM is in the kitchen All. The. Time. 

@panarchsmaid Dear Dangerous City, please stop being so dangerous. Love, ME

@panarchsmaid More ice peppers today for the Panarch.  Sure she doesn't have a fetish.  Nope. Definately a weird vegetable perv or anything ;)

@panarchsmaid WOO! My transfer is accepted!  No more kitchen duty.  A glamorous life of dusting and stocking towels awaits me! :P

@panarchsmaid Walk to work was nuts today.  Could you guys not riot today?  That would be great! kthxbye

@panarchsmaid Ok, yeah, they're definately going to riot out there today.  I'm almost glad the White Cloaks are here. (not really)

@panarchsmaid WTF?! Someone stole supplies out of MY closet!  It was probably Betsi, that bitch.  Great start to first day on new job. :(

@panarchsmaid Towels and duster gone!  And really, who steals a pestle and not the mortar?  What's the point?

@panarchsmaid Hey!  I found the dumbass who stole my duster!  Some new maid. #goingtogiveherapieceofmymind

@panarchsmaid Wait.  TWO new girls.  Rethinking last tweet.  #outnumbered

@panarchsmaid Uh... the two new maids were arguing or something, and now they're just staring at each other.

@panarchsmaid Still staring at each other. Maybe they're in love? LOLZ

@panarchsmaid Starting to get creepy.  Am i ever getting this duster back?  Do I even want it anymore?

@panarchsmaid The world's longest and most boring staring contest continues.  I need someone to come break this up.

@panarchsmaid Ha!  Lady Jeaine is coming, and she looks PISSED! They probably stole her stuff too! LOL

@panarchsmaid Lady Jeaine is carrying a big black rod?  Maybe she'll use it to beat the girl who stole my duster! 

@panarchsmaid HOLY SHIT!! Lady Jeaine just shot a fucking laser out of the black rod!  It put a giant hole in the wall!!  WTF!!

@panarchsmaid Damn, she looks like she's trying to do it again!  I'll try to get a picture.

And that is the last anyone ever heard from her.  Hopefully this paints a pretty decent picture for you of this poor girls last days.  As I said before, no body was recovered, which isn't that strange all by itself, but what is strange is that I could have sworn there were at least three other tweets in this timeline that seem to have winked out of existence.  I've talked with other bloggers who were following her and they all remember seeing a few more tweets as well.  Where did they go?  It's almost like they were deleted on purpose.  Are the nobles in Tanchico covering for this Lady Jeaine?  How responsible is she for what happened in the palace on the day of the big riots?  Any information you can send our way that helps us get to the bottom of this would be greatly appreciated.  Please send anything that can help shed some light on this to twotcast@gmail.com

Tom O'Hara likes maid outfits, and they don't necessarily have to be french.  Follow him on twitter @tomohara


Category:tWoT Blog -- posted at: 5:01pm EST
Comments[0]

Ask the DARK ONE!

Ask the Dark One is a feature where we forward emails to the Great Lord of the Dark that were sent to us.  Every week you have the opportunity to speak to the Great Lord himself on a variety of issues, including; domestric, romantic, or how you're going to DIE. And seriously, he's just going to tell you how you're going to die.  


Hey Guys, why was the music so loud in the first few episodes of tWoTcast?  Didn’t bother me too much, but I’m glad you fixed it.

Thanks!

Sincerely, Ken


DEAR KEN,

I’M THE MOTHER FUCKING DARK ONE, THE SCOURGE OF HUMANITY AND AN ALL AROUND TWISTED ASSHOLE.  IF I WANTED THE INTRO MUSIC ON TwOtCAST SO LOUD THAT IT CUT IN AND DESTROYED YOUR HEARING, YOU SHOULD THANK ME.  THE FACT THAT I QUIT DOING IT IS PROOF THAT I HAVE MERCY.  JOIN MY CAUSE OR DIE WITH THE KNOWLEDGE THAT A DARKHOUND IS RAPING YOUR GOLDEN RETRIEVER AND A TROLLOC IS BURNING HIS DOG HOUSE.

Hey tWoTers, I heard your theory that "The Shadow Rising" was actually a reference to your Dark One’s erection and couldn’t stop laughing.  I hope that Sanderson reveals that to be true!
Thanks, I'm a huge fan!
With Love and Respect,
Katherine H.

HI KAHTERINE.  THANKS FOR ASKING.  THIS HAS BEEN ONE OF THE QUESTIONS I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO FIELD AS I FEEL THERE WERE ENOUGH HINTS ALL THE WAY THROUGH THAT MORE PEOPLE SHOULD HAVE PICKED UP ON IT.  YES, IT'S TRUE, THE SHADOW RISING IS MY ERECTION.  SINCE LEWS THERIN SEALED THE BORE, I HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO TRULY WORK MY MANHOOD AROUND.  YOU SEE, THE ACTUAL BORE WHERE LANFEAR AND BEIDOMON TAPPED IT (HAHAHA!!!) WAS THE SPOT IN MY PRISON WHERE MY DONG WAS CONTAINED.  SO MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT FLEXING MY LONG CONSTRAINED HARD ON WAS KNOCKING THE SHAROM DOWN.  THE BUILD UP TO THE WAR OF POWER AS THOSE FOOLS CALL IT WAS ME SLOWLY DOING KEGELS AND GETTING MY SEXUAL CONFIDENCE BACK.  THEN THAT PONCE LEWS THERIN SEALED IN MY HARD ON AND REALLY SENT ME INTO A SEXUAL DEPRESSION FOR EONS.

THE BREAKING OF EACH SEAL IS LIKE ONE MORE BUTTON POPPING OPEN ON MY PANTS AND THIS TROUSER SNAKE IS READY TO HISS AND SPIT AFTER HAVING BEEN CONFINED FOR SO LONG.  DURING THE TIME OF SHADOW RISING, I WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO CURING THE WORLD'S WORST EPISODE OF BLUE BALLS.  PEOPLE SEE ME AS BEING THE EPITOME OF EVIL, BUT REALLY, IF YOUR BALLS HAD BEEN STUCK TO YOUR THIGHS FOR 3000 PLUS YEARS, WOULDN'T YOU DO ANYTHING TO LET THEM OUT?  A LITTLE SYMPATHY, OR I WILL HAVE A DARKHOUND LICK YOUR TAINT; ITS TOXIC SALIVA WILL MAKE YOUR SKIN ITCH SO MUCH YOU WISH YOUR MOTHER WOULD TEAR OUT YOUR SACK WITH AN ICE CREAM SCOOP.  BUT DON’T WORRY, THAT WILL HAPPEN AFTERWARDS, EXCEPT BY THE HANDS OF A MYRDRAAL!  NOW, I’M GONNA GO PLAY WITH MY RISING SHADOW.

DEAR ABBY: My husband, "Ed," and I have been together for six years,
married for two. This is the second marriage for both of us. We have
children from our first marriages.

Ed works offshore. He's gone 21 days and here 21 days. The three weeks
he's gone, I work, take care of the house and the kids, do the yard
work, etc. When he comes home, I want him to myself the first weekend
-- I don't want to share him with his friends. I'd like to do fun
things with him sometimes, just the two of us.

Ed says I have to understand his friends are important. He says I'm
selfish and jealous. He doesn't show affection very well either
(except behind closed doors), and I am a very affectionate person. Am
I asking too much from him? I am considering counseling, but I'm
unsure whether Ed would go. -- bored and lonely in Mississippi

HI BORED AND LONELY IN MISSISSIPPI, COUNSELING IS AN EXCELLENT IDEA, AND IF ED WON'T GO, YOU SHOULD GO WITHOUT HIM.  ASKING YOUR HUSBAND TO SPEND TWO DAYS OF ONE-ON-ONE TIME WITH YOU WHEN HE RETURNS FROM THREE WEEKS AWAY AND WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!?!  THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DEAR ABBY COLUMN.  IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ED, I'LL STEAL HIS SOUL.  COME TO SHAYOL GHUL AND BASK IN MY PRESENCE AND I'LL REWARD YOU WITH ETERNAL YOUTH AND A MORE COMPASSIONATE HUSBAND.  YOUR ED AND HIS CHILDREN WILL BE FODDER FOR MY TROLLOCS.  I’M SURE I CAN FIND A MYRDRAAL READY TO QUENCH A SWORD IN HIM, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

(Feel free to email Him at tWoTcast@gmail.com, mark the subject as 'Ask the DARK ONE', and we will forward Him your questions. Please never call Him by his name, even in writing, as having His eye on you is not recommended; also, it upsets him to be distracted.)

Jono Coulborn is not the DARK ONE, but he has a shadow rising, if you know what he means. Follow him on twitter @JCoulborn

Category:tWoT Blog -- posted at: 4:14pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 19

tWoTcast episode 19 (part 6 of 6)

Our sixth discussion of book four of the Wheel of Time, The Shadow Rising. Covering chapters 50-58. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Gaidal Cain can be distracted by a flare t-rex style, Perrin and Faile make out in a field of dead trollocs and finally Rand channels through his crotch using a bulge.

Direct download: tWoTcast_episode_19.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 7:09pm EST
Comments[0]

What's Cooking?! with Muradin

Appetizer: Eyeballs Tart Fine

Chef: Muradin

Muradin kicks off our summer menu recommendations with a delicious start.  This former candidate for Clan Chief of the Shaido Aiel founded his restaurant, A Feast for the Eyes, shortly after he failed the tests of Rhuidean.  Starting with a modest menu consisting of only one item, Your Own Raw Eyeballs, it wasn't long before he found success and the former Aiel warrior began experimenting in the kitchen with other people's eyeballs.  

"Before I went to Rhuidean," says the award winning chef, "I'd never actually considered cooking, and had in fact never tasted eyeballs before.  It was my fear of facing my past that made me pluck out my own eyes and then devour them on the spot."

Many attribute Muradin's failure to complete the test of Rhuidean to weakness, but it turns out this wasn't the case.  "Once I ate my owns eyes, and tasted the tremendous flavor that they had locked within them, I realized I had to leave the Shaido behind and share my new passion with the world."

Beginning with a small stand situated at the newly formed lake feeding Rhuidean, Muradin's business grew as the new Aiel city in the waste did.  Though he found convincing people to pluck out their own eyes and eat them difficult at first, it wasn't long before he had gotten enough people to do it that he was able to open a proper restaurant.  Though Rhuidean is the only true city in the waste don't think that has stopped Muradin from eyeing the future.  He has plans to open franchises in Holds all over the Waste in the next few years.  Muradin is truly a chef to watch out for.

Eyeballs Tart Fine

5 Eyeballs

1/4 cup unsalted butter

1 1/2 cups all purpose flour

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 cup ricotta cheese

1/2 cup plain yogurt

2 tablespoons roasted sesame seeds

12 fresh mint leaves

salt

black pepper

olive oil

fresh thyme

Step One:

Just mix this shit together and try what comes out.  This, like all of Muradin's recipes, doesn't really come with instructions.  Seriously, he's a blind lunatic who ate his own eyes!  The best thing you can do is humor him, and hope he doesn't somehow manage to eat your eyes too.

Tom O'Hara is glad the Aiel have recently given writers for food magazines a free pass across the waste.  Also, he's grateful to still have his eyes.


Category:tWoT Blog -- posted at: 6:17pm EST
Comments[88]

tWoTcast episode 18

tWoTcast episode 18 (part 5 of 6)

Our fifth discussion of book four of the Wheel of Time, The Shadow Rising. Covering chapters 40-49. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Perrin almost learns to follow his nose, Nyneave and Elayne annoy us a little more in Chino and Moiraine upsets Rand’s dinner at Cold Rocks Hold.

Direct download: tWoTcast_episode_18.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 11:21am EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 17

tWoTcast episode 17 (part 4 of 6)

Our fourth discussion of book four of the Wheel of Time, The Shadow Rising. Covering chapters 31-39. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Bonehold is considered as a possible fourth member of tWoTcast, Rand gets drunk and wakes up with some tattoos and the rest do be very entertaining.

Direct download: tWoTcast_episode_17.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 5:12pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 16

tWoTcast episode 16 (part 3 of 6)

Our third discussion of book four of the Wheel of Time, The Shadow Rising. Covering chapters 21-30. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Rand’s ancestors, Mat goes into the second doorway, and Perrin goes home. Tom thinks the Greenman is a character from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Direct download: tWoTcast_episode_16.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 2:26pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 15

tWoTcast episode 15 (part 2 of 6)

Our second discussion of book four of the Wheel of Time, The Shadow Rising. Covering chapters 9-20. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Tom thinks the Dark One needs to get all his followers on the same page, maybe with a powerpoint. The Aelfinn are a ruthless organization determined to rule the world. Jono tries really hard to make a Perrin wolf growl and fails miserably.

Direct download: tWoTcast_episode_15.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 12:26pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 14

tWoTcast episode 14 (part 1 of 6)

Our first discussion of book four of the Wheel of Time, The Shadow Rising. Covering chapters 1-8. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. There’s no prologue but chapter one is long enough to make up for it. One of these Rand’s doesn’t belong here. When does Moiraine know she’s going to marry Thom? Also more evidence that Mat loves older women.

Direct download: tWoTcast_episode_14.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 11:22pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 13

tWoTcast episode 13 (part 5 of 5)

Our fifth and final discussion of book three of the Wheel of Time, The Dragon Reborn. Covering chapters 47-56. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Perrin plays sonic the hedgehog, Mat proves once again that small village idiots shouldnt be aloud to play with fireworks, Moiraine kills a forsaken, and Rand as always Kicks Ass.

Direct download: tWoTcast_episode_13.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 4:34pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 12

tWoTcast episode 12 (part 4 of 5)

Our fourth discussion of book three of the Wheel of Time, The Dragon Reborn. Covering chapters 36-46. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Aviendha, Rhuarc and more than one group of merchant assassins lead by random women. Moiraine kills some darkhounds with a shitload of balefire, and it’s awesome. Mat delivers Elayne’s letter and Jono is more concerned with Morgase’s breasts.

Direct download: tWoTcast_episode_12.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 5:24pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 11

tWoTcast episode 11 (part 3 of 5)

Our third discussion of book three of the Wheel of Time, The Dragon Reborn. Covering chapters 24-35. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Galad has a stand-up comedy act. Tom thinks Jordan ripped off his story ideas from a Christmas Story, and Gaul complements Perrin on his dancing.

Direct download: tWoTcast_episode_11.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 11:46am EST
Comments[1]

tWoTcast episode 10

The Dragon Reborn (part 2 of 5)

Our second discussion of book three of the Wheel of Time, The Dragon Reborn. Covering chapters 11-23. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Mat finally gets healed and Egwene and Elayne become accepted, also Jono has some interesting map details and Joe finally pronounces tel’aran’rhiod correctly.

Direct download: tWoTcast_episode_10.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 2:13pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 9

The Dragon Reborn (part 1 of 5)

Our first discussion of book three of the Wheel of Time, The Dragon Reborn. Covering chapters 1-10 and the prologue. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Cover talk time. Serious things we talk about: father son zealot relationships, wolf dreams and the sword thats not a sword. Not so serious things we talk about: small clothes and whats under them, eyepatch stands and Dain is my left hand Bonehold is my right. Joe has the sniffles, don’t be to annoyed he’s just dedicated.

Direct download: tWoTcast_episode_9.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 1:30pm EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 8

The Great Hunt (part 4 of 4) 

Our fourth and final discussion of book two of the Wheel of Time, The Great Hunt. Covering chapters 38-50. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. How boring would the present be if you could see the future? Lots of hatred for the Seanchan and the a’dam, and Jono comes up with a new use for it. We contemplate what would happen if the heros of the ages sat around waiting for the dragon banner.

Direct download: tWoTcast_episode_8_2.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 10:32am EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 7

The Great Hunt (part 3 of 4) 

Our third discussion of book two of the Wheel of Time, The Great Hunt. Covering chapters 26-37. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Jono admits his love for ogier women and Tom and Joe have a hard time not throwing up. Also twitter poll results, we asked people to rank their top five favorite characters not including the big three (Rand, Mat, and Perrin). Tom tallied the results and here they are.

Direct download: tWoTcast_episode_7_1.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 9:19am EST
Comments[0]

tWoTcast episode 6

The Great Hunt (part 2 of 4) 

Our second discussion of book two of the Wheel of Time, The Great Hunt. Covering chapters 13-25. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. A lot of talk about who’s HOT in the world of the Wheel of Time (guys and girls) maybe a little too much. Also a lot of different dimensions and other worldly talk. And lastly, Tom announces a fantastic haircut challenge for our listeners! Cast your vote!

Direct download: tWoTcast_episode_6.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 8:43am EST
Comments[1]

tWoTcast episode 5

The Great Hunt (part 1 of 4) 

Our first discussion of book two of the Wheel of Time, The Great Hunt. Covering chapters 1-12 and the prologue. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. More cover talk, Lauren hits us with a surprise Raaaaaaaandy! quote and if you’re curious there’s a clip at the end, Jono officially joins the brown ajah.

Direct download: tWoTcast_episode_5.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 2:39pm EST
Comments[2]

tWoTcast episode 4

The Eye of the World (part 4 of 4)

Our fourth and final discussion of book one of the Wheel of Time, The Eye of the World. Covering chapters 40-53. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. If you fall off while skimming do you hit your head on a platform in the ways...eventually? A little debate about the eye of the world itself and we get into the oddly ambiguous fight scene in the end.

Direct download: tWoTcast_episode_4.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 1:46pm EST
Comments[2]

tWoTcast episode 3

The Eye of the World (part 3 of 4)

Our third discussion of book one of the Wheel of Time, The Eye of the World. Covering chapters 27-39. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. Joe and Jono whine about Perrin and Tom wonders why we like Cadsuaine. We get off on a bit of a tangent while Jono becomes a character from Mariokart. Also we play a lot of "how do you pronounce that?!"

Direct download: 1-03_tWoTcast_episode_3.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 12:56pm EST
Comments[1]

tWoTcast episode 2

The Eye of the World (part 2 of 4)

Our second discussion of book one of the Wheel of Time, The Eye of the World. Covering chapters 14-26. Featuring: Jono and Joe. Tom is ill. We also talk about Jordancon 2009... for a minute.

Direct download: tWoTcast_episode_2.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 10:48am EST
Comments[2]

tWoTcast episode 1

The Eye of the World (part 1 of 4)

Our first discussion of book one of the Wheel of Time, The Eye of the World. Covering chapters 1-13 and the prologue. Featuring: Jono, Joe and Tom. We also talk about when we started reading the books and why we love them so much.

Direct download: 1-01_tWoTcast_episode_1.m4a
Category:Podcast -- posted at: 8:25pm EST
Comments[7]



-->

Syndication

Categories

Archives

Follow tWoTcast on Twitter