Sep 23, 2011
@TrollocTalk: I figure it’s time to follow the TWoTcast recipe for Muradin’s eyes with an old fashioned trolloc recipe. I mean, really, I think the entire Wheel of Time series makes clear we’re incredible cooks. For this, I’ve chosen something my uncle Murray used to make when we had a particularly good haul from a borderlander village. As an eagle-beaked trolloc, Murray had a great sense for just how various ingredients interacted with the meat.
Of course, you non-trolloc scum probably don’t feel like resorting to cannibalism, so I have made some notes of ingredients you can substitute for a lesser meal. Also, we made this in huge quantities, of course, because we’re ruthless and had hundreds of villagers to eat, but I parsed it down to something just a few humans would eat. Before we eat them.
Human Stew with Herbes de Provence
2 lb human (SUBSTITUTE lamb) fillet, shoulder or leg, trimmed of fat & cut into 1-inch cubes
1 tablespoon Essence, recipe follows
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 cup chopped yellow onions
1/2 cup diced peeled sweet potatoes
1/2 cup chopped carrots
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1/2 cup human eyes (SUBSTITUTE peeled, seeded, and shopped plum tomatoes)
1 tablespoon herbes de Provence (Murray traveled with his own but you can find recipes online)
1/2 teaspoon salt (best when harvested from human tears but tough w/o a channeler)
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 cup dry red wine
3 cups human blood broth (SUBSTITUTE lamb stock)
Cairheinen or Altaran bread, accompaniment
2 1/2 tablespoons paprika
2 tablespoons salt
2 tablespoons garlic powder
1 tablespoon ground black pepper
1 tablespoon onion powder
1 tablespoon cayenne
1 tablespoon dried oregano
1 tablespoon dried thyme
Place all the ingredients in a bowl or hollowed out human skull and stir well to combine thoroughly. Yield: about 2/3 cup
Season the meat with the Essence and use your hands/claws to coat the meat thoroughly. In the bottom of a trolloc cookpot (the finest cooking mechanism even created), heat the oil over a medium-high fire. Add the seasoned human meat (SUBSTITUTE lamb) and cook, stirring, until browned, about 5 minutes. Remove with a rusty sword to the back of a shield, and set aside.
To the fat in the cookpot, add the onions, potatoes, and carrots, and cook, stirring, for 3 minutes. Add the garlic and cook for 1 minute. Add the tomatoes, herbs, salt, pepper, and red wine, and bring to a boil. Cook until reduced by half, about 3 minutes, stirring to deglaze the cookpot. Add the human and blood (SUBSTITUTE lamb and stock) to the cookpot and return to a boil. Reduce the fire to medium-low and simmer until the human (SUBSTITUTE lamb) is tender, about 30 to 35 minutes.
Remove from the heat and adjust the seasoning, to taste. Ladle into soup bowls and serve with hot, crusty Cairheinen or Altaran bread.